All parts of "The Elf and the Magnolia" in order from 1 to 8, for easier reading and navigation.
Part 1
Part 2
Part 3
Part 4
Part 5
Part 6
Part 7
Part 8
Sunday, March 16, 2014
The Sack Knight
All parts of "The Sack Knight" in order from 1 to 10 for easier reading and navigation
Thursday, March 13, 2014
Into the Land of the Elves: What's in the Lacy Book?
The Diary of Miss Aidyn Hall,
author
July 10
What’s In
the Lacy Book?
“Why do
spiders serve as your guardians?” I asked Apple Blossom yesterday afternoon, as
the two of us sailed along the Bell’s Rush on a thick raft made from oak logs.
I wondered if the use of spiders, like the Jadeites’ written language, had
originated with the tree elves.
“Tales from
the first Jadeites say that humans fear spiders more than any other creature,”
Apple Blossom explained, “so the Jadeites formed an alliance with the spiders:
they could have undisturbed places to build their webs in exchange for keeping
humans away from the Jadeite Greenwoods.” She looked at me and asked, “Is it
true that humans fear spiders more than any other living thing?”
I chuckled
and answered, “Yes, for the most part.”
“Why?” she asked “Spiders are so much smaller
than humans, and so out of the way.”
“I can’t
answer that,” I said with a shrug. I always thought the fear of spiders was
irrational and ridiculous. Spiders do nothing except look cool and keep pests
out of the yard.
It would
have been very nice to be able to see
the banks of the Bell ’s Rush
instead of row upon row of blue-clad civil soldiers—three in each row, standing
tall and grim-faced in perfect chain formations, watching us. It was part of
the “careful observation.” Apple Blossom had asked the queen if the two of us
could have a sail along the Bell ’s Rush,
and the queen had sent for a squad of civil soldiers to keep an eye on us…or
rather, on me. We had to wait until they were all lined up before we could go.
It was still a lovely sail, and I enjoyed listening to the “tingle-tingle-ting”
of the Bell ’s Rush. I
just wished I could’ve had a better view of the scenery around us.
Thinking of
the queen made me think of that lacy book in her office that I never got to
discover the use for. I wished I hadn’t thought of it, because now it was going
to bother me all day. “Apple Blossom,” I whispered, “do you know about that
book sitting on your mother’s desk in the office with all the roses and lacy
things?”
Apple
Blossom nodded. “I know which book you’re talking about, but I don’t know
what’s written in it.”
“Oh,” I
said. “I was just curious about what it might be used for. But you don’t know.”
I shrugged my shoulders.
Apple Blossom
looked at me, and her face held an impish grin. “We can see what’s in it,” she
said. “Remember, I know where the key is kept.”
I shook my
head. “That’s not a good idea, Apple Blossom. It’s not for us to read, and I
need to stay out of trouble.”
“We won’t
get in trouble,” said Apple Blossom. “I know how to keep from getting caught.”
“You got
caught last time,” I reminded her.
“That was
because I hid! I won’t hide this time.”
“Still…”
“We’ll just
look at one page,” she said. “Just one page, and then we’ll get out! I can tell
you what the page says.”
I wasn’t
curious enough about the book to get into trouble over it, and I was on thin
enough ice just for being a human. Apple Blossom is a princess, but she is a
child and I’m an adult, and because of that I hold a certain amount of dominion
over her. “We’re not going to do it, Apple Blossom,” I said as sternly as I
could, “and that is the end of that.”
“Okay, we won’t do it,” said Apple Blossom,
playfully rolling her eyes.
“Thank
you.”
She gave me
that impish grin again and said, “But I will do it myself!”
This was
certainly not a better option. Since she was with me, I would likely be blamed
for her mischief if she was caught. “That’s not what I meant, Apple Blossom,” I
said firmly. “I meant that neither of
us is going to do it.”
“You won’t
get in trouble if it’s only me.” Apple Blossom steered the raft towards the
shore.
“Oh, I have
a feeling that I will.”
“You won’t,” she assured me, patting my knee. “If
I do get caught, I’ll be sure that Mother knows it was all my idea. But I don’t
think I’ll get caught. I really do know how to go in and out without anybody
seeing.” She stepped off of the raft and approached a line of three soldiers,
nodding to them in a respectful manner. “Our sail is over for the time being,”
she told them. “I thank you very much for taking the time to ensure that Aidyn
and I had a safe sail.” She had gone from mischievous little kid to well-spoken
regal princess without a second thought. The soldiers nodded their heads to her
and moved aside to let us pass through. “Thank you,” I said, polite to the end
despite my unease. I caught up to Apple Blossom and grabbed her by the hand.
“Let’s not
do this, Apple Blossom,” I said. “It’s really not all that important for us to
know what’s in that book.”
“I need to know!” said Apple Blossom.
“You’ve got me curious, and it’s going to be on my mind forever unless I find
out!”
“It won’t
be forever,” I assured her.
“What if
it’s about me?” she asked.
“Your
mother would never write anything bad about you!”
“I don’t
mean anything bad. I mean anything at
all about me!”
There was
no stopping the irrepressible little imp. I let go of her hand with a sigh.
“Promise me you won’t get into any trouble over this,” I said, though I knew
that if she was caught she’d be in trouble anyway—and so would I. Still, Apple
Blossom said, “I promise, Aidyn.” She sounded so solemn that I wanted to trust
her, but I knew that children’s promises usually amounted to nothing, even when
they were solemn.
When we
reached the palace, Apple Blossom told me to wait in the garden.
“I don’t
think so,” I said. “I’m going to wait by the door, so if I have to cover for
you, I will.”
“You would
really do that?” Apple Blossom’s eyes widened. “You could get into even more
trouble than I could! Isn’t that what you were afraid of?”
“Now I
don’t mind it so much,” I said. Suddenly, I’d rather have had the queen, king,
and whoever else be cross with me than with her. She was my friend, and nobody
wants to see their friend get into disgrace, no matter the age difference.
Still, I was quick to remind her, “We can still forget this and go back to our nice
sail.”
Apple
Blossom shook her head. “Please run into the garden if anyone comes by,” she
pleaded.
“I’ll try.”
Silently,
Apple Blossom scampered off around the side of the palace. I held my position,
and when I saw two men dressed in red—palace guards—approaching, I continued to
hold my position despite Apple Blossom’s plea. I looked far less suspicious now
than I would have looked if I had just run off into the garden. “Good
afternoon,” I said, nodding to the two men.
“Good
afternoon,” replied one of the guards. “Where is the princess? Wasn’t she with
you?”
“She was,”
I replied, “but she wanted to show me something from her room, so she’s gone to
get it.” I wasn’t sure how deep within the palace Apple Blossom’s room was, but
I figured that this would leave enough space for her to attempt her little
stealth trick. Sure enough, the guards departed without another word, and I
heard the big front doors swing open. Apple Blossom returned, smiling and
proudly holding up the key.
“You’d
better make this very quick, Apple Blossom,” I warned. “And leave everything
exactly the way it was when you went in!”
“I will,”
said Apple Blossom, and she unlocked the office and went inside. I kept an eye
out for guards and passerbys, but the garden was calm and empty today—a sharp
contrast to the day of the party. I felt a pang of guilt for allowing Apple
Blossom to do something that was obviously forbidden, and I promised myself
that I wouldn’t let it happen again.
I
heard the door creak open, and Apple Blossom peered up at me, her expressive
eyes asking if it was safe to come out. I looked around to see if the coast was
clear, then nodded when I saw that it was. Apple Blossom crept out of the
office, locked the door behind her, and gave me a push. “Run to the garden!”
she cried. “Hurry!”
We
scrambled for the garden and took cover in the spot that the party table had
once occupied. We sat down in a soft patch of grass, and Apple Blossom hid the
key in her shoe. Immediately, I felt the need to lay down the law: “Apple
Blossom, this is the first and last time
I am letting you do something like this. From now on, if I see that you have to
sneak to do something, then that shows me that you shouldn’t be doing it in the
first place, and it will not be
allowed! I am not covering for you anymore the way I did today, and if you do
something like this again I’m afraid that I will have to tell your mother.” I
expected her to argue or protest, but she just shrugged her shoulders and said,
“Okay, I understand.”
“So
what was written in the book?” I asked, now more curious than ever—I wanted to
know exactly what it was that had nearly caused so much trouble!
Apple
Blossom hugged herself and burst into loud and sudden laughter.
“Hey,
what’s so funny?” I asked. “Come on. Tell me what you found in the book.”
She
shook with laughter for a few moments more before she said, “It was nothing!
Oh, Aidyn, we went through all that trouble for nothing! It was only a court record book!”
“A
court record book?”
“It’s
just a record of the citizens she sees when she holds court, and what their
problems are and how they were solved. It’s nothing that concerns us!”
I
would’ve liked to see that court record book. I would’ve liked to know what
kinds of things Jadeites brought before their monarchs. But I knew to leave
well enough alone. “That isn’t ‘nothing.’ It’s very important,” I told her.
“You will be queen someday, and then you’ll have to hold court. Don’t you think
you ought to start taking it seriously?”
Apple
Blossom shook her head. “Court is boring. I shall let my husband hold court
when I’m queen.”
I
chuckled at that. For a moment I wondered what kind of monarch Apple Blossom would
turn out to be. I had a strong feeling that the negative reception of humans
would diminish under her reign. She was already working on that.
Sunday, February 16, 2014
Into the Land of the Elves: I Meet The Queen
The Diary of Miss Aidyn Hall,
author
July 9
I Meet the Queen
I
made a crown of the greenest cedar boughs I could find in the mini forest,
interwoven with bright pink knockout roses from my garden. I added holly
berries and juniper berries and smiled satisfactorily at my work. It looked
like a jeweled crown meant for a queen. I hoped that Apple Blossom would share
my satisfaction.
This
morning after breakfast, I made my way to the magnolia archway with the tag in
my pocket and my gift for the princess in hand. The Grand Elder Guardian’s web
was not blocking my way today, and I guessed that what happened at the party
meant he now completely approved of me. I heard a series of running “slap-pat”
footsteps making their way through the brush. Sure enough, there was Apple
Blossom rushing towards me. “Hi there!” I called out, waving.
She
skidded to a stop right in front of me and bounced on her toes. “You came back,
Aidyn! Oh, yesterday I came here and waited all day for you to come back, and
when you didn’t show up I was so disappointed that I cried. But you’re here
now, and I’m glad, glad, glad!” She was acting just like a kid instead of an
esteemed royal princess, and it was delightfully endearing. It absolutely stung
to hear that I had unintentionally made her cry, but I had been so busy
yesterday with journaling, making the crown, outlining two tales for my short
story collection and working on the drafts for two others. There was just no
time in my day to nip off to the Greenwood .
“I am very, very sorry,” I told her. “I was
just so busy yesterday that I couldn’t find any time to head over. I promise I
didn’t mean to disappoint you and make you cry, and if I can make it up to you
today, I would like to know how.”
Apple
Blossom gave me a big smile, hugged me, and said, “Of course you didn’t mean
it. You’re too kind for that, Aidyn.” While she was hugging me, I took the
opportunity to place the cedar-and-rose crown on her head. “Oh!” she cried,
pulling back. She poked at it a few times before taking it off to have a look.
“What is this, Aidyn?” she asked. “Is this a wreath? Or is it some sort of
crown?” She looked at me quizzically.
“It
is indeed ‘some sort of crown,’” I told her. “In fact, it is a crown that I
made myself, with you entirely in mind (her eyes widened at this). I even
picked those lovely pink roses from my own garden. I had a great time at your
party, and I felt that you should have a birthday gift from me.” I placed the
crown back on her head. “It does look lovely on you. You look like a…”
Before
I could finish saying, “You look like a real little queen,” she wrapped her arms
around me again and hugged me tightly, pressing her face into my stomach.
“Thank you, Aidyn,” she said. “Thank you, thank you!” Surely, no other Jadeite
in history had received such a kind gesture from a human.
That
is why I will be finishing my account of the party this morning and spending
the rest of the day with my new little elf friend. Any additional tasks can
wait until tomorrow. I have much more important matters to attend to!
The
garden gate opened and in stepped a magnificently dressed elven woman who
looked so like I had always imagined Titania in A Midsummer Night’s Dream. She wore a long white gown with colorful
seasonal blossoms sewn into it, and a cape the color of the sky. Her hair was
the color of a misty sea and curled into elegant ringlets that fell around her
pretty pink face like a picture frame. On her head she wore a thin, shimmering
veil that fell over her face. She was beautiful, elegant, and very imposing all
at the same time.
“Mother!
Mother!” Apple Blossom cried, leaping up from her seat to rush over and embrace
the woman. Lovingly, the woman returned her daughter’s embrace and lifted her
up to her shoulder. Then her face grew serious, and I had a feeling that the
commotion I’d caused had something to do with it.”
“Apple
Blossom, have you brought a human into
the Greenwood ?” the
woman asked darkly. She said the word “human” as if she was talking about a
pile of rotting garbage sitting out in the sun. My stomach began to churn.
“She’s
been tagged, Mother,” Apple Blossom assured the queen. “And she’s not like
other humans. She’s a good human,
Mother! Her name is Aidyn, and she has been very kind to me and my friends.”
“Why
did you bring her here, Apple Blossom?” asked the queen. She glanced at me, and
I had the feeling that she viewed me the way one might view a sewer rat.
“I
wanted to play with a human,” Apple Blossom answered honestly.
“You
don’t play with humans, Apple Blossom,” the queen said firmly. “You observe
them and nothing more. Do you know how dangerous it was for you to bring one in
here?” She had a good point; of course I wouldn’t hurt anyone or mess anything
up, but what if Human Number Five hadn’t been me? What if it had been someone
much less inclined to be friendly to elves?
I
spoke up: “I haven’t hurt anybody, and I won’t.” The queen looked surprised and
a little offended that I had spoken out of turn. She was looking at me, the
girls at the table were looking at me, Apple Blossom was looking at me, and I
wanted to shrink. “I’m sorry, Your Majesty,” I said in my most polite tone,
“but what I say is true. I am here in the interest of observation alone, and
not to create a disruption.” I hoped that was the proper way to speak to a
queen. It seemed to be, going by what I’d read in stories that involved queens.
The
queen set Apple Blossom down and curled her finger at me. “Come here.” I got up
from my seat and obeyed. She only came up to my shoulders and had to look up to
look me directly in the eyes, but she had a commanding presence all the same.
“My
daughter tells me your name is Aidyn?”
“That
is correct, Your Majesty.”
“You
have a tag?”
“I
do.” I pulled the tag out of my pocket and handed it to her. She turned it over
to look at the number.
“You
will have to come with me,” she told me, taking both of my hands.
“Have
I done something wrong?” I asked quickly. Without answering me, she began to
lead me out of the garden. Apple Blossom followed behind us, but the queen
turned to her and said, “Stay here, Apple Blossom.”
“Mother,
I want to go with Aidyn!”
“No,
stay here and entertain your guests.”
“I’ll
be back soon, Apple Blossom,” I assured her with a smile. I wasn’t so sure how
true that was, but I didn’t want the kid to worry her birthday away. “Save some
more of that pudding for me. It was phenomenal.” Raindrop smiled when I said
this. I waved to the girls as I was led away, and the five of them waved back.
The
queen led me out of the garden and through a side door into the palace, which I
would get to see at last! Secretly, I had been longing for that very thing
since I’d laid eyes on those majestic jade towers. I wondered if the queen
could feel my hands shaking in anticipation. If she could, she didn’t bother to
take note.
The
door opened into a sea-green-colored room with candy-pink roses painted all
over the walls. The showpiece of this room was a big navy blue wooden desk
decorated with all sorts of lacy things: a white lacy box, a clothbound book
trimmed with lace, a white lace desk skirt, and a pink jar tied with lace
ribbons, which held four pens that appeared to be carved out of tree branches.
The queen let go of my hands and motioned for me to sit at this desk. I obeyed,
taking a seat on a stool painted in the same rose motif as the walls.
The
queen took another look at the number on my tag. Then she looked at me in the
way a school principal might look at a troublemaker who had been brought into
his office with too many infractions. “Stay here,” she told me firmly. “Do not
go anywhere, and do not touch anything.” Then she left the room, and I heard
her lock the door as she went out. I folded my hands the way an obedient child
would and made up my mind to remain perfectly still, silent, and out of the
way. When she returned, she would be totally shocked that the horrible, brutish
human had not flipped her desk and
trashed her little office!
It
wasn’t so bad being locked in there. The room was pretty, and I liked the rose
pattern and the sea-green color. But sitting completely still and quiet had
never been any easy task for me, and I was growing increasingly curious about
what might be written in that book. It couldn’t have been a diary. You don’t
keep diaries in your study or home office in plain sight. You keep them in your
bedroom or in a very secret place that nobody is allowed to lay their eyes on. It
was more likely a record book, or a tome of some sort, or…
A
part of my mind was scolding me: No,
Aidyn, absolutely not! Don’t you dare open that book when you were told not to
touch anything! But another side of my mind was saying, If you steal a quick glimpse and then put it
right back down where you found it, there will be no harm done and there will
be no way for her to find out! It’s not like she’ll check your fingerprints. I
felt like a child locked in a battle with my conscience about whether or not it
was all right to sneak ice cream before dinner so long as I was sure to eat all
of my peas. But before I could decide which side to obey, I heard the door open
and resumed my “obedient child” stance.
It
wasn’t the queen who entered, but Apple Blossom. She looked behind her to see
if anybody had seen her enter, then she shut and locked the door. Her fist was
tightly closed around something, probably the key. “Apple Blossom!” I
exclaimed. “What are you doing here? Did your mother tell you to come here and
check on me?”
“No,
I told me to come here and check on you,” said Apple Blossom. “What did my
mother say to you? Did she tell you anything at all? Oh, I hope she didn’t say
that you must leave and never come back! I’ve grown so fond of you already!” Tears came to her eyes. “She was outside
talking to your tagger just a few moments ago, but I saw her go inside and I
think she might be talking to my father or…or the guards. Oh, will she at least
let you stay until the end of my partyyyy?!”
This last word ended with a howl, and then she erupted into sobs. As if a
switch had been flicked, she had gone from princess to typical overemotional child.
She cried and howled with such intensity that her face turned as red as a
tomato and the bodice of her beautiful flowery dress was stained with tears.
“Apple
Blossom, she didn’t…” I began, but realized that there was no way she could
hear me over her wild sobs. It stung to see her this upset; it was as if she
was my little sister, and all I wanted to do was comfort her and try to bring
back one of those big, bright smiles. I got up from the stool, kneeled down in
front of her, and wrapped my arms around her. “I’m not going anywhere,” I
assured her, stroking her hair. “Nobody’s told me to go anywhere. I’m staying
here.”
She
leaned her head against my shoulder. “Mother didn’t say you have to leave? She
isn’t going to have you taken out?”
“She
didn’t say anything about me leaving,” I told her, “and if she was going to
have me taken out, I’d likely be gone by now.” Then I wanted to try and make
her laugh, so I grabbed one of her springy green curls and tugged on it gently.
“Boing!” I cried when it bounced back like a spring toy.
“Oh!”
Apple Blossom grabbed the lock I’d bounced and looked at me in surprise.
“What’d you do that for, Aidyn?”
“To
make you laugh,” I told her. I bounced another curl and uttered, “Boing!” She
touched the top of her head and burst into giggles. “You’re silly, Aidyn!” I responded by
stretching another curl as far as it would go and bouncing it back, uttering a
drawn out “Bo-o-oing!” We both
laughed.
At
the sound of a key turning in the door, Apple Blossom disappeared under the
table as quick as a wisp, and I returned to the stool. The door opened and the
queen stepped in. Her expression had not changed from when she had left me.
“Welcome back,” I said, nodding my head respectfully.
“I
see you’ve managed to keep my office clean and orderly.” She spoke sternly, but
her eyes marveled at how I had not managed destroyed the place. “Indeed,” I
replied. “It’s far too beautiful to trash.”
She
raised a brow at me. “I trust that you would have refrained from defacing it
regardless of its beauty?”
“Of
course,” I answered truthfully.
“You’ve
managed to cause quite a stir,” the queen went on, “especially among my
daughter’s young party guests.” Apple Blossom shifted under the table. If the
queen had been out to the garden, she had discovered that her daughter was
mysteriously absent from the party table. Still, I didn’t let on that I knew
she was under there. “They seem rather fond of you,” continued the queen,
“despite your humanity.” She made it
sound like a cuss word.
“Your
daughter adores me,” I told her, smiling modestly. All mothers love to hear
about their kids, and I guessed that elf queens were no exception. “She’s
absolutely crazy about me. I don’t think she believed that a human could be
kind to her, and now that she’s seen otherwise, she is just thrilled.”
“I
think what she did was very foolish and very reckless,” said the queen, “but…”
She paused, then went on, “…I suppose I should be very thankful that she found
a human others can be so fond of, as opposed to a creature of selfishness and
destruction.”
I
didn’t know what to say. I was almost certain that I had made it to the queen’s
good side, but my only response was to nod and wait for whatever else she had
to say.
“After
careful and thorough consideration and discussion,” said the queen, “I and my
husband have decided that you may return to the Greenwood under very
careful observation. I hope that you will not display any behavior that will
cause us to retract that decision, especially if our daughter is going to be
involved.” She looked me right in the eye, equally awaiting my response and
daring me to oppose her.
“Of
course not,” I replied abruptly. I felt ready to break into song and dance! I
had been approved by the monarchy and was free to take in all that the land of
the elves had to offer—under careful observation, of course! I could immerse
myself in the Jadeite culture and gather all the information I needed
for…for…well, for whatever I might end up needing it for. But most importantly
for the moment, I was free to stay for the rest of Apple Blossom’s birthday
party!
“Thank
you, Your Majesty! Thank you!” I stood up and curtsied as best as I could. “I
appreciate being invited into your land, and I promise I won’t make you regret
it.”
“I
should hope not,” said the queen. “And…Apple Blossom?”
Caught
at last, Apple Blossom crawled out from her hiding spot. “Yes, Mother?”
“Return
to your party, and take the human with you.”
Apple
Blossom’s face lit up as if someone had flicked a switch.
So
I spent the rest of that day enjoying the garden with the flowers of all
seasons, eating pastries and more of that delicious pudding, and playing with
Apple Blossom and her four friends. Towards the end of the afternoon, the cake
was brought out and we had to line up and file out to the front of the palace.
Apple Blossom slipped her hand into mine, securing my place beside her at the
front of the line.
The
cake was the size of a baby grand piano and covered in swirls of cloudy blue
frosting. Clusters of pink and yellow flowers decorated its edges, and in the
center were ten small rods with a small purple globe lantern hanging from the
tip of each one. White swirls formed odd looking but clearly defined shapes
around the rods. “What’s written on your cake?” I asked Apple Blossom.
“It’s
my name in the language of the tree elves,” she told me.
“Are
you ten years old today?” I asked her.
She
nodded.
I
finally got to see the king, who momentarily glanced at me as he lifted Apple
Blossom to his shoulder. He kissed her and set her down on a high seat in front
of the massive cake. They cut the first slice of cake together, with his hands
set on top of hers. I expected Apple Blossom to serve the first slice of cake
to herself, as is commonplace at birthday parties (and more so for princesses).
However, she placed the slice on a stone plate and handed it to me with a
smile.
The
crowd erupted into whispers and murmurs, clearly just as surprised as I was.
Only a select few—Apple Blossom’s four friends included—smiled and clapped
politely. The king and queen looked at Apple Blossom and then at eachother, but
said nothing. I nodded, thanked Apple Blossom, and silently returned to the
garden and my place at the table. I may have been approved, but that does not
mean I was welcomed.
Apple
Blossom joined me in a few moments, and I asked her if she would be so kind as
to walk me back to the magnolia archway after we finished our cake.
“Yes,”
she replied brightly, “I can do that.”
And
so my first day in the land of the elves drew to a close. There will be many
more, and each one will be very well documented.
Sunday, February 2, 2014
10 Simple Things to Take Joy Out Of
I. Little green daffodil shoots coming up out of the ground. Aren't teeny baby plants just so adorable?
II. How fucking awesome the contrails in the clouds look a lot of the time. People say a cloud is just a cloud, but you can't deny that sometimes a cloud is just a natural work of art.
III. The new redesigns for the official Disney Princess tiaras. They look a lot less gaudy and a lot more regal than their old designs.
IV. When you're on your bike or Razor scooter and you push all the way to the very top of a really imposing hill, only to have all the fun of careening all the way to the bottom, riding the wind the whole time!
V. Sledding in a perfect snow--especially going down headfirst so the snow can smack you in the face!
VI. When the sky is the perfect shade of blue all day, and the sunset is the perfect shade of pink in the evening.
VII. Climbing up into a big cherry blossom and just lying down and enjoying being surrounded by pink lace.
VIII. Spending the whole night with someone you love, just laughing at the most pointless shit in the world until your sides ache and your lungs feel close to bursting.
IX. Dressing up like a princess, a prince, a fairy, a superhero, or anything else, just because you can.
X. Watching videos of the Seaworld whales and just marveling at the intelligence, the family bonding, and how freaking cute little Trua is.
And of course, this world contains a lot more than just these ten things to be happy about. (:
II. How fucking awesome the contrails in the clouds look a lot of the time. People say a cloud is just a cloud, but you can't deny that sometimes a cloud is just a natural work of art.
III. The new redesigns for the official Disney Princess tiaras. They look a lot less gaudy and a lot more regal than their old designs.
IV. When you're on your bike or Razor scooter and you push all the way to the very top of a really imposing hill, only to have all the fun of careening all the way to the bottom, riding the wind the whole time!
V. Sledding in a perfect snow--especially going down headfirst so the snow can smack you in the face!
VI. When the sky is the perfect shade of blue all day, and the sunset is the perfect shade of pink in the evening.
VII. Climbing up into a big cherry blossom and just lying down and enjoying being surrounded by pink lace.
VIII. Spending the whole night with someone you love, just laughing at the most pointless shit in the world until your sides ache and your lungs feel close to bursting.
IX. Dressing up like a princess, a prince, a fairy, a superhero, or anything else, just because you can.
X. Watching videos of the Seaworld whales and just marveling at the intelligence, the family bonding, and how freaking cute little Trua is.
And of course, this world contains a lot more than just these ten things to be happy about. (:
Thursday, January 16, 2014
Into the Land of the Elves: The Honored Human Guest at Princess Apple Blossom's Birthday Party
The Diary of Miss Aidyn Hall,
author
July 8
The Honored
Human Guest at Princess Apple Blossom’s Birthday Party
The path
ended at a small hill flanked by bushy red cedars on both sides. In the
distance, I could see several tall, jade colored towers. They blended in with
the trees quite nicely; to a faraway observer, they might have been trees
themselves. Cheerful chatter blended in with music from all sorts of
instruments: bells, flutes, harps, drums, guitars. The music and chatter grew
louder as we proceeded onward. The hill ended at another path that was much
straighter, shorter and more organized than the one we had taken to get here. I
could hear the sound of a rushing stream, but unlike the wild “ksshkssshkssh”
of the streams in my mini forest, this one sounded like a bell: “ting ting
tingle ting.” I soon learned where the sound was coming from; we were
approaching a stream the color of a misty blue topaz. Across the stream, I
could see the lights of villages, and every so often I caught glimpses of
little green-haired people coming and going. We began crossing over a bridge
made out of thick fallen logs.
“This is
the Bell ’s Rush,”
said Apple Blossom (I could see why they call it that), “and after we cross it,
we will be in the Greenwood .”
“What is
the Greenwood ?” I asked.
“All
Jadeite forests are called Greenwoods,” she told me.
The land on
the other side of that bridge was the greenest I had ever seen, the exact
colors of perfect jades and emeralds (now that I think about it, a lot of the Jadeite
environment could be compared to jewels). “I can see why it’s called the Greenwood ,” I said
to Apple Blossom. She modestly smiled at me and led me past a lush green hedge.
We passed
by a small village. The houses were moss-covered triangles made from tree bark.
Yellow lanterns hung from poles posted out in front of them. Upon seeing us,
the people poked their heads out of the doors and windows, and the ones that
were outside turned to look at us. The look of total awe on their faces was
enough to make me chuckle—I know it was rude, but I couldn’t hold it back. They
were gazing upon me as if I was a visiting goddess, with open mouths and
bugged-out eyes. They were totally dumbstruck, but the princess was not. She
smiled, waved at them all, and said, “Hello, everyone! This is Aidyn, my new
friend. She’s a human! We’re on our way to the palace for my birthday party
now. You all are very welcome to join us.” It was as if she was used to
bringing humans into the Greenwood , though I
had been the only one.
“Do you
always invite random villagers to your birthday parties?” I asked, to get my
mind off of being stared at and whispered about.
“Yes, I
do!” she said, smiling brightly (she smiled before every sentence). “Everybody
in the Greenwood is
invited.”
I doubted
any of these people would come now that I was there. Their gaping mouths and
nervous whispers didn’t seem too ready to trust me. I felt guilty for turning
away potential party guests. But I wondered just how big her palace was to be
able to hold so many guests.
As it
turned out, her palace was MASSIVE. “Palace” was the wrong word for it.
“Castle” was the wrong word for it. The place was an estate, a compound. The
actual palace, with its jade-colored towers, was in the very front and
decorated top-to-bottom with streamers, banners, ribbons, jewels, tapestries,
flowers, and bells of all colors, shapes, and sizes. Every window was
illuminated with a light of a different color, and music and laughter played
from all of them. White stone pathways and colorful gardens led to other green
stone buildings that I couldn’t guess the uses for, all decorated in a similar
manner to the palace. I could hear the “ting ting ting” of the Bell ’s Rush and
guessed that we must be rather close to it.
My first
thought was, I get to hang out here? But
the Jadeites were not as thrilled about it as I was. They gasped loudly and
gawked at me with open mouths like the ones in the village had done. Many
stepped away from me like I was leaking toxic waste, and several ran away.
“Maybe I
should just go, Apple Blossom,” I said. “I’m obviously not very welcome here,
and I don’t want to scare away all of your party guests.” I slipped my hand out
of hers. “Thank you for having me. I really enjoyed seeing your land.”
She caught
on to my hand and looked up at me with pleading eyes. The smile left her face
as if it’d been erased by a pencil. “Please don’t go!” she cried. “I am sorry
that my subjects are so distrustful. They have never seen a real human before,
and they’ve heard only bad things about them from other Jadeites. But let me
tell them that we’re friends and that you won’t hurt them, and I know that they
will change their tune.” That being said, she turned to her gawking subjects
and said as casually as could be, “Everybody, this is Aidyn, my good human
friend! She will be joining us for the party. I know humans can be very scary,
but you do not have to fear her. Aidyn is kind and gentle and she means no
harm. I trust you all will give her the welcome she deserves.” She said this last
thing in that scolding voice she used with me when she told me I had
disrespected the Grand Elder Guardian. It made her seem much older than she
looked.
Her
subjects only bowed their heads respectfully, and began to whisper
conversations I could only catch a little bit of: “…friends with a human?” “…Do
the king and queen know about this?” “…Has she been tagged?” I reached into my
pocket for the tag and held it up to show them that I had in fact been tagged.
“Number five,” I said, showing them the inscribed number. This only made them
whisper more, and I shifted uncomfortably. Apple Blossom smiled kindly at me,
took my hand, and began leading me around the side of the palace. “We are going
to my private gardens now,” she told me. “I have a table set up there for me
and my very best friends, and you can sit at the head of it if you wish.”
I was very grateful to be taken somewhere
private, where hopefully all eyes would be off me. “No, thank you,” I told her.
“You’re the princess and it’s your birthday, so you will sit at the head of the
table.”
She smiled
brightly. “All right, but if you want to switch places with me, you are very welcome
to.” I have never known anyone so sweet
in my life.
We went
through a bright green gate and entered a garden that looked exactly like a
picture out of an illustrated version of Burnett’s The Secret Garden . Flowers of all kinds bloomed in
this garden, including some that weren’t even in season this month: there were
irises, hyacinths, and crocuses of all colors, mayflowers and roses, cherry
blossoms and peach blossoms and apple blossoms. I wondered what the Jadeites’
secret was to keeping so many different kinds of flowers around at once, but I
realized that it must have something to do with those “jade essences.” Sure
enough, there were big jade stones set up in every flower bed.
In the
center of the garden was a circle of lacy white cherry trees. Under them sat
four small Jadeite girls at a decorated party table. When they saw me, their
eyes widened and jaws dropped. The smallest one, who was so tiny that she barely
would have reached my knee if she were to stand up, looked as if she was ready
to flee. I tried hard to flash my friendliest smile, to show them that I was no
threat, but I felt uncomfortable and intrusive all over again.
But Apple
Blossom said, “Girls, this is Aidyn. She’s a human from outside of the Greenwood , and she
will be joining us for the party (I wondered if she was getting tired of
repeating that).” She turned to me and told me her friends’ names: Raindrop,
Holly Berry, Crystalline, and Wildflower (Wildflower was the tiny one). I
smiled again, said, “It’s nice to meet you all,” and took my place at the
table. Apple Blossom settled in to the right of me, and to the left of me sat
Holly Berry.
Little Wildflower
was the first to speak: “Apple Blossom, aren’t humans bad?” She had slid three
quarters of the way under the table and was peering over the edge at me. What
exactly had she and the other girls been told about humans? Were we the fabled
evil bogeymen of the Jadeite world? Did little Jadeite children fear humans
lurking in their closets and under their beds? I wanted to set them all
straight very badly.
Apple
Blossom said, “Aidyn is very good. If she’s good, then there must be other
humans that are good.”
“There
are!” I said quickly. “There are humans that help hurt and sick animals, and
humans that save the lives of children just like you girls. There are humans
that save others from danger, and humans that create art and plant flower
gardens so that everyone has something beautiful to look at.” Apple Blossom’s
four friends looked at me as if I’d just pushed a mountain off to the side. The
idea of good humans doing good things had never occurred to them until this
moment. “There are humans that dedicate
their lives to protecting forests like yours,” I went on. Now I really had
their attention. “They set up special organizations and sign petitions and pass
laws that help prevent damage to forests.”
“That’s not
true!” said Holly Berry. “Humans destroy forests! Humans are the reason our
lands are so small.” So that’s why they were so distrustful of me. They thought
that I would go on a forest-destroying rampage at any second. But I knew for
sure that there really were people who desired to protect forests; when I was
in community college, I served on an environmental board for a while, and one
of the things we advocated for was the increased protection of forested areas. “I
used to work for people who helped protect forests,” I told them.
“See!”
exclaimed Apple Blossom. “I told you Aidyn was good!” The girls smiled at me,
nodded to me, and little Wildflower picked a bright red cherry off of her plate
and handed it to me. I was being accepted at last.
Apple
Blossom fixed a plate of colorful berries, bright green sprigs, a deep red
pudding, and some meat that I was sure was deer. She placed the plate in front
of me. I thanked her and began to examine the contents thoroughly—rude or not,
it was possible that Jadeites could eat things that humans could not, and of
course Apple Blossom wouldn’t know that. “What kind of pudding is this?” I
asked, giving it a few pokes with the wooden fork. It bounced and jiggled.
“It’s
cranberry,” Raindrop said proudly. “It’s my mama’s.” She looked at me
expectantly, waiting for me to taste. I love cranberry, so I took a mouthful of
it. It was not like the canned cranberry sauce I have with my family every
Thanksgiving and Christmas, nor was it like the sugary supermarket cranberry
juice. It was both sweet and bitter at the same time, and it had a pleasant
silky consistency with little bits of berry pulp here and there. I liked it,
and I took another mouthful once I’d finished the first. I gave Raindrop a
thumbs-up, and she looked at me quizzically. I guess the thumbs-up isn’t a widely
used gesture among Jadeites. I clarified for her: “That means I like the
pudding very much.”
“Thank
you,” she said politely.
I looked
over the pile of berries. There were cherries, cranberries, and blueberries,
all of which I love. But there were also holly berries, some glossy red berry I
didn’t know the name of, and the juniper berries that grow from red cedars. I
wasn’t so sure if those were meant for humans to eat, and I was about to say so
to Apple Blossom when the garden gate opened with a creak.
The entire
time I’ve been writing this entry, I have been nagged by guilt for not finding
a present for Apple Blossom. If an elf princess invites you to her birthday
party despite her subjects’ negative opinions of humans, you must thank her by
giving her a birthday gift. That’s common courtesy, really. I’m sure I can find
a gift for her somewhere. I know, I’ll make her a flower crown like the one she
was wearing for the party. This will take quite a bit of time, and I cannot
guarantee that I’ll be left with any more time to journal when I’m done. I’ll
save the rest of my account of the party for tomorrow morning.
I wonder if
Apple Blossom would like a crown of cedar boughs and roses…
Saturday, January 4, 2014
Into the Land of the Elves: Today I Met Apple Blossom
The Diary of Miss Aidyn Hall,
author
July 7
Today I Met
Apple Blossom
This
morning after breakfast, I went back to the magnolia archway and found it still
unblocked. I proceeded down the path, expecting to run into the daddy longlegs
and his web after ten steps. But this time around, there was no daddy longlegs
and no web. It sucked for the spider, who I figured had gotten his web
demolished by some careless oaf. But how lucky for me!
The
path remained straight for about ten more steps, and then it made a winding
turn. It reminded me of Dorothy’s yellow brick road, and I hummed the song to
myself as I walked. I was starting to wonder if I really would see Oz at the
end of the path, and how I would react to seeing all those munchkins coming out
from under hedges and behind buildings. And with that thought firmly in my
head, what else do I see but a little green haired person coming my way? She
was not a munchkin, but a little girl who looked to be around nine or ten. But
munchkin or not, she was certainly odd; she was very small, but not quite
munchkin small. She had hair the exact color of a well-tended summer lawn. She
was wearing a crown of pink and white blossoms, and a pink and green dress that
looked like a big flower—the bodice was a flower bud and petals, the skirt
formed the leaves. I wish I had a cool dress like that.
The
girl smiled brightly at me. She had a very pretty smile that used all of her
pearly teeth. She was one of those people whose eyes got really wide and whose
eyebrows rose all the way up when they smiled. I smiled back, tipped my head,
and said, “Hey!”
“Hey!”
she cried. “Hey! Hey!” She bounced on her feet, which made her mossy curls
bounce. “I saw you!” she cried. “I saw you! I saw you out here yesterday!”
That
was weird. I hadn’t seen her (if I had, I would have written about her, of
course). She must have been hiding, or had blended into the trees. “Is that
so?” I said, as I continued walking. “When did you see me?”
“I
saw you when you met with the Grand Elder Guardian,” said the girl, “and I saw
you get lost in the shrubs. I felt very, very sorry for you, and I wanted to
help you out, but it was very naughty of you to disobey the Grand Elder
Guardian!” She said this as if I were a kid who had gotten caught with her hand
in the cookie jar. “Who is this Grand Elder Guardian,” I asked reasonably, “and
how did I disobey him?”
“The
Grand Elder Guardian is the head of the guardians of my land,” the girl
explained. “He is the largest spider with the largest web, and he decides who
comes in and who goes out. He was going to let you in because he saw that you
still held the tag, but…”
I
cut her off. “What’s the tag?”
“You
do still have the tag with you, don’t you?”
“All
I have is my notepad and this green stone I found.” I showed her both.
“That’s
the tag!” she exclaimed, pointing to the stone. “That’s the tag that my people
use to keep track of those who come by my land.”
“Your land?” I asked. “So, you’re the
queen?” If she was the queen, then my visions of munchkins had surely become
reality. In her little way, she did seem quite queenly. Her posture, her
outfit, and the way she conducted herself just screamed “royalty.” But at the
same time, she carried on like an excitable kid.
“My mother
is the queen,” she told me. “I am the princess, and my name is Apple Blossom.”
“Nice to
meet you,” I said. Since she was a princess, I attempted a curtsy. It was
likely dopey and awkward looking, but she didn’t seem to mind. “I’m Aidyn,” I
told her.
“Hello,
Aidyn!” She walked over to me and held out her hand. I wasn’t sure if I was
supposed to shake it or, as is often the case with princesses, kiss it. But I
opted for the shake, because kissing it seemed too weird.
“Today’s my
birthday,” she said, “and I’ve always wanted to meet a real, live human and
invite one to my birthday party. Then I could introduce it to my friends and
family and all of the others at my palace. But I could never find a human. They
always misplace or lose their tag.” So she wasn’t human, but I guess I could’ve
figured that out. It felt incredibly strange to be called “it” and to be
invited to a birthday party for a little girl—a little princess—I had only just met. But if anything made for excellent material, it was this! So I
said to Apple Blossom, “I would be delighted to come to your birthday party.
But I have a few questions for you, if you don’t mind. You can answer them
while we walk.”
“I don’t
mind that at all!” said Apple Blossom. She held out her hand, which I took, and
we continued walking down the path. I had quite a bit more than “a few”
questions, and she had quite a bit more than “a few” answers. For the sake of
convenience, I will write the ones I felt were most important in a handy
Q&A format:
Q&A WITH PRINCESS APPLE BLOSSOM
Q: So you aren’t human. What are
you, then?
A: I am a Jadeite. We are forest
dwellers descended from the tree elves, which were descended from the dryads
and the ancient forest elves. We live in small, scattered, and secluded places
in cedar and oak forests, though our ancestors ruled the forest in the way you
humans rule the rest of the world.
(For such a little girl, she can
sure talk big. I suppose it’s all part of being a princess.)
Q: So what kind of importance do
jade stones hold to you?
A: Jade stones contain the essences
of the forest around us, and allow us to better communicate with and form a
bond to our environment. We are called the Jadeites because the years have
allowed us to strengthen our abilities to harness the forest energies through
the jades; we are really no different from the old tree elves otherwise, except
that we prefer the ground to the trees.
Q: So could the tree elves harness
these “jade forest essences” too?
A. They are the ones who discovered
the essences of jades. Before them, forest dwellers thought that emeralds
contained the essences of the forests. This is true in small amounts, but jades
contain much larger and more powerful forest essences. After they discovered
this, the tree elves began to abandon emeralds in favor of jades. By the time
of the first Jadeites, emeralds had been nearly completely abandoned. So yes,
tree elves could harness the essences of jades, but it was a very newly
discovered thing in their time.
(By now I had taken out my notepad
and was ferociously writing down everything I could catch. If Apple Blossom
minded this, she didn’t show it. But this whole thing about elves and
princesses and “forest essences” was a story just waiting to happen.)
Q: What does the jade “tag” do, and
what’s carved on the back of it?
A: For our peace of mind, we like
to keep track of the humans that come by our land. When a human comes by, a
tagger is sent out to place a tag on them. The tag provides a link between us
and the human, and allows us to observe the human’s ways. Most lose or throw
away their tag, many remove the tags on the spot, and some return only to throw
the tag back. It is rare that anybody returns with their tag in hand. The tag
is inscribed with your number.
(I showed her my tag and asked what
number was carved on it. She said I was number five. Four other people had come
by here at some point.)
Q: Did the other four make it in?
A: Only one of them returned, and
he did not make it past the Grand Elder Guardian.
Q: Why did the Grand Elder Guardian let me in, especially since I apparently “disobeyed” him?
A: He was not planning to. He and
the other guardians didn’t like that you disobeyed him by trying to bypass his
web! The only reason he did let you in is because I respectfully requested it
of him, and since it is my birthday he was willing to grant the request.
Q: Because you wanted to play with
a “real, live human?”
A: Yes!
Well, I’ve
always wanted to meet a real live fairy, elf, pixie, or nymph because I’ve
always wanted to write about fairies, elves, pixies, and nymphs. I couldn’t
very accurately write about them without meeting one first. Now I finally have
my chance, and I don’t even need to come up with the story. The story began to
tell itself the moment I met little Jadeite Princess Apple Blossom—though
really, it started the moment I was “tagged."
It sucks
that I don’t have much more time to journal today. I still have so much more to
say about this day. But I guess I’ll have to save it all for tomorrow. I’ll
dedicate my entire morning to writing about it.
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